Sunday, July 13, 2003

Well, now that we're back online... 

Here's some blogs i did, while the power was out. Thank god my laptop runs on batteries:

Ok, so the power went out at 10:45 basically right after I finished iming with allan. Its 11:11. now and still no power. I can handle, when other computers have to shut down, this one just keeps going, at least for another 3 and a half hours that is. I was trying to take some pictures of the lightning but alas, I failed at every attempt. Sorry, no pictures. Which seems odd to me because of all the lightning we had, at least one or two flashes every minute. No wonder the power went out. Anywho now I bask in the warm glow of my laptop just waiting for the power to come back on. I’m thinking around 11:30 sounds good, that gives the fat guys at the power company another 15 minutes to get everything back up and running. Considering that the storm is pretty much past us now, I’m optimistic that I’ll be a happy blogger in a few short minutes. Or I’ll have to resort to blogging in word (I’m shuddering).
11:17 pm

Blast! No power! How am I suppose to do any thing mildly amusing without power? Well it’s pretty obvious that I’m still not connected to the internet. I just went outside to walk the dog. On the way I noticed that the water sitting on the road is evaporating off. It’s steaming the water right off the road, weird to say the least. My dog, she’s so funny running around in the rain. She looks to be having so much fun until she comes home and I dry her off with a towel. She gives me this look of “I know how to clean myself, thank you very much”. I still dried her, leaving enough wetness to entertain her for the next hour or so. Its still so hot in the house. Thermometer says 22 outside and its nearly midnight. I’m still holding out hope of power, it has to come back on at some point, if it’s not in the next 3 hrs I’ll be summoned to the pda. Not that it would be a totally bad thing
11:55 pm

Alright, at 12:15 the power finally came back on. I'm afraid to start my desktop (which was on at the time of the power outage). I'm really pissed off that i wasn't able to get even one good picture of the fucking lightning. Perhaps another time.

We here at Eyes spies and lies (we being the royal we, as in me) would like to thank everyone that made saturday the most visited day this site has ever had. being that i'm only 2 weeks old. But what ever. I love you all the same. I'd hug you but you're all the way over there and i'm over here, and i really don't like to be touched. So no hugs, but my deepest heartfelt thanks.

I don't think i have anything else of importance.

Saturday, July 12, 2003

A days worth of work 

Ok i revamped my bio section. I also added a technology page. I got a hold of my dads camera, took some pictures, wrote some smart ass comments and all seems just that little bit better in the world. Now that everyone can see my laptop, or the horns on my computer. Its hot, i gave up on being outside, and returned to the basement, seems like the dog understands the idea of hot air rising and colder air falling, shes down here with me. For the second straight day we have a thunder storm coming. Which means i'll be sitting out in the park watching the lightning. The pure power of these storms puts me in my place.

I don't think there's anything else new going on, i'm hungry so i'm going to go find some food. I think i'm hungry for something else though. I'm thinking about starting a counter of days i've gone with out a release of endorphins. I need some entertainment, or a new hobby... 4 gallons and 1040 dead kittens isn't bad i guess, i have nothing to compare it to though.
A couple of days ago i spent some time and finally broke down and got my self a new icq number: 255360463. Now whats depressing about this is i had an icq number back in junior high. i used it until probably grade 8 and then never used it again. I forgot the number and my password long ago. Hell, even the password hint did me no go because the address they email my password to i haven't used since grade 8 either. This just bothers me that i gave up a 4 digit icq number for my current 9 number beast. I used to use icq back when it wasn't cool and none of my friends had it. So now i'm back on icq, just with no contacts. So you may be wondering then, why not just give icq up and not use it? Well cuz i got trillian, and if you got it, use it. Thats my motto. Along with tons of other stupid sayings that i repeat over and over.
So somebody icq me!
I can't let that harddrive space go to waste now can i?

Its barely past 1pm and the nerds at the university say its 26C. I think its time i get outside and get some sun on this computer of mine

I think i'm going to buy a t-shirt from t-shirt hell. Maybe the "this is my clone" or the "restraining orders: just another way of saying i love you" or "I'm just pretending to be a poser". Tell me which one is more me. Then you'll get to see me wandering about with it on. Scaring the children and seniors.
When i left at 3:45 it was night, there was no mistaking how dark and "night like" everything was. By the time i got home from the airport it was morning. There was no mistaking the rather large burning ball of hydrogen in the northeast part of the horizon. So this brings up the problem, when did night end and morning begin. Because this is going to be different all over the world. Those of you that live in California are going to have the sun come up later than my imaginary readers in Alert, NWT. Does night end and morning begin, or do we just cop out and say "twilight" is as good as it gets and stop trying to be smart by bringing up such useless topics after being up for 20 hrs straight...

I'm going to bed,

pictures tomorrow consider yourself warned...

power's another one of those this that pointless if you're not going to use it 

Dammit! I lost my latest blog. Well i guess i'll start over

Ok, i have to drive my mom to the airport in a few hours because she's going to houston for work. Now i'm blogging, and playing checkers with tuck. I just downloaded msn 6 just so that i could play checkers. Which seems to be the only reason i'll be using msn 6. I'm stuck on trillian. Stuck, very stuck.

I'm listening to some old matthew good band - beautiful midnight. Damn i love this cd. I used to listen to this cd over and over and over again all the way through high school. There was something about this album that makes me just calm and able to deal with the world. I love the irony of "a boy and his machine gun" and "the future is x-rated" never gets old to me. I'm starting to think that this album is probably the single most important and influenal album that i own. I just can't get enough of matt's anger. He just might be an asshole but he's smart. You can't deny him that.

I used to sit in bed and dream about singing "running for home" to an audience. I can't get over the line "the gun makes you look nicer in a bad way". I want to write songs like this one. I can't, no matter how much i try the closest i can get is soft foo fighters quality. Which isn't bad, but i still aim high. "power's another one of those this that pointless if you're not going to use it" how do i compete again poetry like that. Hell he even got phone sex into the album.

I added life in the present to my blogs list. Check it out, sometimes we all need to read something intelligent around here. Hella lot better than my ranting, complaining, and all around jackassery which is my webpage. You may have noticed that i've dropped the opening page. I see it as pointless. I'm sure that you're all looking for that quote again. Too bad.

So now its 2:15am. I'm drinking beer alone in my basement, eating crackers and listening to the album for the third complete rotation of songs for the night. Not a bad way to end my friday.

Oh yeah here's the lowdown of my friday:
I went to work to work 5 hours of overtime. When i got to the warehouse the all the afternoon shift was sitting on the grass outfront. This is a bad sign... Turns out that the power was out in the warehouse, can't work when the power is out. So i basically sat on my ass in the grass and shade (provided by unloaded trailers) and waiting for the power to get turned back on. It took 2.5 hrs to get the power back on in the intire warehouse. I got paid time-and-a-half for the entire 2.5 hrs i sat outside, but damn was it boring. Hell some recieving guys stole footballs out of toys and started playing on the grass. All and all it all worked out because i got to go home at 8:30, they wanted the night shift to stay until 12 to make up for lost time. But everyone objected (me included) and we quit work for the week at 8:30. Which was also about the time that i huge storm hit wetaskiwin and area. Turns out we were on a severe thunderstorm watch for most of the day. I didn't see anything to worthy of being written about other than a beautiful double rainbow in the south.

i can home, did laundry and went over to Johans. We watched the dumbest movie ever. Never see "scooby-doo". Its the stupidest movie of all time. And i've seen some pretty stupid movies (dumb and dumber, anything with keanu reeves other than the matrix). Oh well thats just my opinion of the movie. I could have come out of that experience smarter if i had just bashed my fucking head into the coffee table in front of me. But i got free popcorn out of the whole deal (thanks johan, even though you don't read this).

Yeah then i came home at midnight and have been surfing and chatting and messing with this site ever since.

Just remember: if heavens for clean people it's vacant
My Dad went to Edmonton today, mostly because he can't just sit around and do nothing. He ended up in Chapters and bought this book; Darwin's Dangerous Idea. It's a book that basically fights the side of the evolationary theory for Darwin. Written by a Darwinist named Daniel C. Dennett. Now this guy has the best explanation of what "darwinism" is. He explains it like an acid. Back when Daniel was a kid he used to sit around with his friends and think up the craziest ideas. One of which was the "universal acid". This would be the acid that could (in theory) eat through anything. If poured into a beaker it would eat the beaker, then eat the floor and end up dissolving the world. Darwinism is kind of like that, according to Dennett. Darwinism takes anything you throw at it and eats it right up and spits it out on the floor. Religion, don't need it, evolution took care of everything. Divine Guidance, nope, evolution did it all out of chaos and created what we have now. If you started evolution over again, i probably wouldn't be writing this, because humans may not have evolved to be what we are today.

What seems weird to me aren't the ideas of the book. Its my Dads desire to learn everything he can about evolution, and the evolutionary practice. Now if you don't know my Dad is a pastor. By all accounts he should have just gone "Evolution is crap, God created the world -- End of story". But he didn't. Ever since the late 70's my Dad has been reading every book he can find thats been written on the topic of Evolution. Ever reading and learning he's got a ton of knowledge about evolution, enough in my mind to breeze through a biology degree, throw some philosopher experence on the fire and we got ourselfs a seriously dangerous man.

For the record he believes evolution exists, even today changing and making the world different. I think he trusts that the world is really really old, like oh a few billion years. He (like the catholic church) believes in Divine guidance working with evolution. Saying evolution did the work, God pointed the way.

Anyways you'd never guess my skinny tall grey haired Father would be so open minded. For this i'm proud. And on the plus side he doesn't object to my major area of study: Geology.

I guess i'll consider this post a very late father's day present to my Dad...

Friday, July 11, 2003

Friday Morning... 

OK so yesterday before going to work i was watching Muchmoremusic and they had this program about implants airing. Which was a little unnerving to be eating my cereal and watching some doctor shove ass implants into a latin womans ass. According to this program most women in the US that get ass implants are latin. They blame J-Lo and her ass for all the ass modification that they do nowadays. And let me tell you, the doctor they were interviewing was this creepy guy from cali. He showed the implant before putting it in the girl. All he did was keep pushing it and playing with it throughout the entire interview. Never unnerving, being that he's a "doctor".
They had this other (more professional) doctor talking about how dangerous ass implants were. Geez, i never knew that putting gel in your ass could kill you, or make it very uncomfortable to sit, or the funniest, and he said this, "uncomfortable to have intercourse from behind". Thanks man, i was eating cheerios now i feel dirty. I kept getting this image of some poor girl complaining that it hurts too much, and the guy being all, "so why the hell did you get that done if i can't have doggy style with you anymore?!!!"
So i guess its very "in style" to have the "ghetto booty" or as Keely likes to call it "bubble butt". I've noticed only a few girls have the ghetto ass going on. Other than the chicks in rap videos. Where do you find hoes like that? I'm betting they're not in the garden section of a hardware store thats for sure.

In other news Allan's getting more hits on his site with references to circle jerking and bukkake, and other forms of pseudo-homosexual activity (tell me standing around in a circle beating meat, isn't just a little more gay than me having fashion sense)

John at work has starting calling me "jomo the homo" again. Something i hadn't heard for two years. Also something that makes me want to beat him like the dog he is. But i won't, cause i'm a big pussy, and he'll always think i'm gay. Regardless of what i do. It's like he's got some problem, or something to hide. Do you John?

I don't expect an answer...

I moved all my messaging over to trillion because i couldn't find a way to auto reply messages in msn messager. Or atleast the version i have, and being that i'm feeling all anti-microsoft i figure whats the worst that can happen? Trillion wrecks my computer and makes me waste all the time, blood sweat and tears that have gone into saving for this tiny grey box infront of me. I'm cool with that.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

It doesn't look like hamburger. Not at all. Nor does it feel, smell, or any other five-senses-related-thing like hamburger. I don't care what your buddy in math class told you, he's WRONG. Hamburger does NOT equal pussy. -->link

Try, i mean really try not to laugh when reading that...


I added a comment button to my page today. Use it dammit!, it was a pain in the ass to find and i had to sign up for shit to get it and i expect that the 3 people that read my site will at least entertain me with the idea that you care that i put a comment button option on this page...

I got the idea a join help from Biogeek and Pussyranch. Word to the wise, She didn't call it pussyranch cause she farms cats...

I've decided that sleep can wait 

So, yeah. I can't get back to sleep. Not that i really tried, but whatever. I gave up on sleep and have moved myself and my laptop outside to do some mini Modblogging. It's actually quite warm today, which is a nice change from the cold dark unforgiving basement i'm accustomed to. Ok so the story behind the picture is that i took this picture a few weeks ago on my dads digital camera. The dog was sleeping on the couch and as i was taking the picture she noticed me and just woke up. Thats why one eye is part open and the other is closed. Thats why she looks pissed off. Thats why if works so well for my feeling of not being able to sleep. Now molly and i are basking in the sun and "breeze" (try gail forced winds) of Alberta.
I thinki she'd rather be outside though. I keep getting this feeling from her that all she wants to do all day is lay on the lawn and watch the birds. Hell is the toughest part of my dad was getting put outside to watch the birds i'd be pissed off if people woke me up to take my picture. It all makes sense now. Or at least i tell myself that to make my self feel better.
When we put the dog outside we tie her to a post we have in my back yard. To the post she's attached via 12 ft "dog cable" and has a probably good 20ft diamater circle to walk and play in after winding herself around the pole a few times. Half of the space she has is grass, the other half is cement patio. So she's got the choice to either lay in the grass or on the cement. Well thats her choices in theory. In reality she wonders back and forth from grass to pavement, trying to find a comfortable spot to lay. Once she finds on she normally settles down (doing that whole dog turny thing, if you've seen it you understand) and then puts her head down and watches the birds. The birds however are just on the otherside of her radius, and watch her until she settles down. Wherein right after she looks calm they start moving and flying around. Which in turn gets molly awake, and up. The birds fly away and once again my dog is left to find that perfect spot to lay again.
she does that for hours. I seriously mean hours, and nothing ever phases her, she just does the same thing over and over again. Well apart from right now, shes chasing ants. We have an ant problem. And the ants have a problem with molly. I don't think molly understand the ins and outs of smelling just yet. She really takes smelling to heart, sniffing pretty much as hard as she can to get the most out of each sniff. Thats what i think from my oh-so-scientific observations. Problem: smelling ants at full power means you inhale the ants at the same time. I kid you not, my dog is inhaling ants like they're lines of cocaine. Then she snorts and coughs until they (as i assume) get moved out of the airway in her nose. And then back to inhaling ants. This has got to be the funniest thing i've ever seen my dog do.

Moving on to another topic i forget earlier, i saw the wierdest thing at work yesterday. Ok we get alot of "Fragile - Handle with care" stickers. Someone put a couple on a cart a few weeks ago. Yesterday another person cut the letters out and rearranged them into "Rail her with care". Nothing like some backwater womanizing to make my work day complete. Boredom reviels the most you can learn about someone. I'm pretty sure that one of the "lifers" from day shift will take offence to that comment and take it completely off the cart. But i can honestly say i saw it. I really did, and it was classy, oh so classy

I have to go save my dog, i think shes either gonna choke on ants or kill herself trying to get the birds...

This is a picture of my dog. I kinda feel like that... all "i'm tired, this better be important"

West Nile's in my backyard... 

So guess what someone found in a field outside of Camrose? A dead crow. A dead crow infected with West Nile virus that is less than a 20min drive from my front door to be exact. Not that i'm worried. I'm sure that west nile has been in Alberta for quite some time, only now being found. It's still alittle unnerving. Perhaps I'll get bitten by a mosquito and get the rest of the summer off work. One can only hope. On the plus side with the infected bird in Camrose there is a chance (no matter how slight) that all the dumbasses that show up to see stage 13 (with the likes of 3 doors down, OLP, Treble charger, Theory of a dead man, 3 days grace, saliva, the list goes on 32 bands in all) might get more for the oh say approx $200 they spent to stand in a field in Camrose listening to all those shitty bands. I only wanted to see Matt Good and Everclear. I don't see why i should have to suffer through all that other crap (mostly OLP) just to see those two bands. Keeping in mind i saw Matt Good a couple of months ago live this makes even less sense. I hear that Cheap Trick is playing some pre-party show tonight, to bad i don't know where and i don't have the night off. Oh well all i can hope is for west nile infected mosquitoes fly around continuously biting OLP until they fall to the ground due to massive blood loss. I can wish can't I?

I woke up at 1 today its sooo bright in my bedroom. I can't sleep when i can see the blood through my eye lids. This leads to the problem of "joel being dead tired and then absentmindedly getting killed by someone driving a forklift" And if that happens tonight this will be one creepy blog...

I'm going to try to go back to bed. I'm hoping the enlightenment will fall into my lap and inspire me to write meaningful things

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Office politics and why i work for a totalitarian state 

When you hear about dissidents being shut up, or gotten rid of you probably don't think about work. Well i do, at least from now on. Today Home Hardware fired Mike and Amanda. They're married and did work the night shift with me. About 2 months ago, Amanda fell down the stairs and tore some ligaments in her ankle and leg. Well they put her on "light duty" because the workers compination board of Canada says you can't fire someone just cause they hurt themselves at work. So anyway, both Mike and Amanda are 'teachers to be', and Amanda had been working night and substituting at school during the day. She was getting burnt out so she asked to be given the next day off from the warehouse when she worked at school that day. She got the ok from the people at the warehouse and all seemed good, until Canada Day.
Canada Day was a Tuesday. We had overtime offered that day, come in and get paid your stat (8 hrs) and 8hrs of overtime (at 1.5x regular). Turns out that Amanda came with Mike to work on Canada Day to work the overtime. But when your on WCB you can't work overtime. So after driving to work (at 10:30pm) she was told rather roodly that she wasn't going to be allowed to work the overtime by an Afternoon's supervisor. She snapped and went home upset.
On the weekend she wrote up a letter explaining how poorly she was treated and sent it to the "big cheese" at work. She got fired yesterday, i'm not sure if Mike got fired either or just quit, but either way neither of them are coming back. The reason given for Amanda's firing "She had taken 26 days off so far this year".
Go figure, sometimes its better to not speak out.

Maybe later i'll write something more intelligent in here. Right now this is bothering me, so now it can bother you...

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Sometimes you just need to do what you think is right... 

I'm totally fed up with the crap that i see in the news when i wake up. Every damn day i wake up and the news is going and i watch it hoping that something important will pop out and grab me. Instead i get to listen to Bob Layton complain about something. I really wish they wouldn't give right-wing redneck assholes an editoral spot on the 6 o'clock news.
Yesterday his rant was about how stupid the "running of the Bulls" in spain is. I give you the fact that it seems counterproductive to run down the street with a bunch of bulls. But this is a tradition that has been happening for a long time now. I'm pretty sure that everyone there understands the dangers assosiated with bulls. The running of the bulls is more about tradition and the personal freedom to do whatever the hell you want. Which brings up the arguement should "the man" stop us generally stupid humans from doing things that can going to kill or hurt us. I'm voting no on that statement. We got 6 billion humans around here, we can handle losing the ones that knowing full well go out and kill themselves. My arguement has a fault, we need to have educated or at the least of it, informed people. If you know that herion is dangerous and you understand that, then be my guest, and become an addict. If you know that smoking is gonna kill you, then i have no problem watching you light up. If you know that a 700lb bull can gore you to death then go right ahead and run down a narrow street with them. We need to start letting people be responsible for their actions.
Secondly today bob was complaining about the pie in king ralphs face. He was complaining that people nowadays need to respect the office known as government. I say to you Bob: "Fuck that! That 'office' needs to start listening to its voting members". I applaude the 19 year old that dressed like a cowboy and shoved a banana cream pie into Kleins face. I'd do it, but i don't want to go to jail. Bob even had the balls to say that people have other ways of voicing their opinions of the government. We can protest (like anyone cares), we can write editorials (yes, now we need to find a paper that will print it that Klein actually reads), or the best one, put out an ad in newspapers. Do you how much it costs to advertise your opinion in the newspaper? If i had that kinda money i wouldn't be working 11 hrs of overtime every week.
Fuck! sometimes ignorance is more powerful than $10,000 of education...

What the Fuck!

Ok, well i think i totally fucked my pinky toe on my right foot last night. I was working and about 3 or so i felt something jabbing into my toe. I though, "oh it can't be anything, it'll go away" well i didn't. After my last break of the night (around 5:30am) i took my boot off to figure out what was happening. Turns out that a string on my sock had wound itself around my pinky toe and was pulling tight. How tight might you ask? Tight enough to cut my toe, draw blood and cause it to swell like a son of a bitch. So once again i ask: what the fuck?

Other than that my day sucked ass. Not sucked ass like a porn star, or one of those dirty "wifes" at but either way, sucked.

Not that i go to there or anything...

I'm going to bed, you dirty dirty people.

Monday, July 07, 2003

I wondered upstairs this afternoon to find three (yes count them 3) checks for me sitting on the table. Turns out everone wants to pay me today. My damage deposit (noted before) and my GST rebate came today. Include in that my check for umpiring this weekend and i have the look of a man just swimming in money. Not that i am, but its nice to dream sometimes. So i put some real pants on and a sweater (it was 20 today and i still always feel cold). Wondered downtown to the bank. I was going to drive because the car was there, but i desided to walk, trying to remember that if your not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. So anyways i'm walking back from the bank and i run in Josh. Well i don't think i've talked to Josh since high school so i felt just alittle ackward standing in the street. It looked like his ear had been bleeding resently and i can't believe how old he looks. Damn, i guess smoking weed everyday and doing nothing with your life (currently unemployed was the first thing he told me) can really take alot out of a person. I look at all my other friends and i don't see them looking almost 30. Josh looks like he's already lived a full life. Oh well, needless to say that conversation lasted oh about 45 seconds before i let loose on one of my conversation ending comments. The stereotypical differences between the educated youth and the working young adult was standing in the road today and all i could do to keep myself from laughing was bite my lip and walk away. One side you got, working, poor, educated, student, and wearing doc martins. On the otherside, hungover, unemployed, possibly stoned barefoot labourer. I somehow don't feel so bad being poor and going to school. I mean it doesn't make up for the fact that Josh own a car, and doesn't have shit to do all day but wait for the night to come. Still i don't pity him, or feel as bad for myself.

I have a huge bruise on my shoulder right now from being hit with a baseball during the weekend. I mean it hurts to move my arm.

I'm bored and i don't want to go to work. I'm hiding downstairs in my lair because i can hear the "friends" on the tv upstairs and i'm not going to sit around with my mom and watch re-runs of a sitcom i don't even like at the best of times. Instead i'm going to the liquor store. I'm out of beer and i feel it's my right and all to go get myself some relaxation in a can.

I'm so proud of Don for going to the french maid. Not cause he went to the strippers (that shouldn't surprise anyone) but becasue he actually listened to me at least once last year while i was ranting about something. Thanks Don, i hope it was everything i hyped it up to be.
Tuesday is here, well at least it feels like it for me. I'm trying to figure out how to make tripod show my whole page to all you people's using IE. Possibly narrowing it down to when the popups are closed the page won't load completely. So either stop closing the popups, or move over and use mozilla. Either that or i might have to put my site back onto banners, which are dumb and ugly. So i'm not going to do that.

Ok, so last weekend i got to sleep once. On saturday night from 11 til 7. I'm not sure if thats totally what i should be doing to my body but i don't seem to be able to do anything differently.

I'd like to thank Allan for teaching me about a Bukkake. I fact i didn't even know it had a proper name, or history to be honest. I'm not posting a link or anything to this because i'm trying to keep the filth to a bare minimun, just leaving my dirtyness to myself. If you really really wanna know what it is you can search it. But be afraid, be very afraid...

I got my damage deposit back from the hell hole known as lister. Turns out all the paint spilt on the floor and the dirty lounge, and broken couch were worth $10.45 of my deposit. Which brings to mind that isn't to bad considereing how messing everything was when i left. All the ceiling tiles in the tower were worth $3 or so. Go figure, i'm riching and lister can finally go to hell. I have nothing else tieing me to that place other than my name on a wall.

I woke up this morning to a nose bleed. Turns out my nose had been bleeding for quite some time, my pillow was red (not white like it should be) and i'm still light headed. I'll have to learn to wake up before drowning in my own blood.

And now that you know that, there's nothing else to say

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Ok, i got a question for you

If a man breaks into a house. Then sneaks around to find a man. Finds him in a chair. Sneaks up behind him and pulls a gun. Pulls the trigger but the thing jams, is that attemped murder?

What if the man in the chair was already dead?

Thats all i got, maybe more intelligent writings tomorrow

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