Saturday, July 05, 2003

New age zombie horror... 

Ok, so Siobhan and I ran up to Edmonton tonight to watch the new movie "28 days later". Which was made by the same minds that brought us trainspotting. Now before i throw myself head long into this rant about the movie, do try to understand a few things... first, by no means is this movie the same as trainspotting. Secondly, i did enjoy this movie, but...
In one way this movie was perhaps hyped up too much. You watch the preview, maybe you've even ventured over and watched the 6 min trailor on the website (which happens to be the first 6 mins of the film, setting the stage for what is to come). All these thoughts are brought to us that this movie is "Scary as Hell". Which it is not. Sorry to the guys and gals that made this movie but it wasn't scary as hell. It was suspenseful as hell. The whole time the movie is trying to keep you in a state of mind that expects the average horror movie scene to happen. Some of the best thrills and chills come as you might expect them, but set to you the viewer in such a manner that you can't help but be scared by them. Its like Danny Boyle (producer) knew that he was making a horror film so he might as well give up on the suprise element of the film. You can't fool the kids these days, he instead found a more powerful way to make suspense: music.
The music for this film was wonderfully set up. I recognized the music from the beginning. I believe most of the score was done by Quebecor's Godspeed You! Black Emperor. This is one hell of a band, consisting of any number of members at anytime (normally 9 members). Let by efrim, and known for their extreme independence and 20 min long songs in minor keys. A perfect fit for the movie. You couldn't help but be let by the music into the (sometimes) obvious danger. Nor could you careless, whatever gets my palms sweating is good enough. But i warn you, GY!BE isn't like normal music, and they make radioheads kid A sound like a Pearl Jam record.
All and all the movie was suficent for what is was made to do. Make you seriously think about what could go wrong. And as i've always thought, a little mind bending psycological thriller is good for the soul. Go out, see it (don't spend $13.50 on it like i did) and tell me how much you hated the ending. Which was the only bad part of the movie. I personally would have done it differently. I warn you of one more thing. If you wouldn't get "it" if i mailed it to you in a big boz labeled "it" you might not want to see this movie. Things aren't spelt you for you, you need to think to make this movie make sense. But on the plus side at the end of the movie, if you got it, you can laugh like i did at all the people that gather around the exit going "What the fuck was that? That was the dumbest movie ever, it made no sense" It does make sense, in fact i find the personal side of the movie to be scarier than the film its self. And i'm starting tot get the feeling that was the point Boyle was trying to make.
Open your mind and try to see it stripped of the hollywood shine that was layered on it. If blood bothers you, don't see this movie either, its gory. I mean rather gory
Sometimes you just have to go with it, this is no different, let yourself be swept away, then leave 5 mins before the movie ends...

Friday, July 04, 2003

Ok, just to fill you in on my most resent purchuses, i bought a dell laptop with centrino moblie tech. This gives me the ability to use the 802.11b standard for wireless internet. More commonly known as WiFi. Now just owning the technology doesn't mean you can just sit in your living room and check emails. Like all good things there are restictions. You need to buy an access point. Which basicaly takes the DSL from the modem and puts it into WiFi. So after spending another $170 on top of the computer i have the ability to surf the net anywhere in my house, and for a few feet outside of the house too. In theory WiFi would make connecting to the internet in coffee shops easier than ever. The problem is that everyone wants to make money off the internet and this includes selling internet access at hotspots. As if starbucks wasn't evil enough. Read this rant from Bob Frankston. Wonderfully sums it up in lauguage even i can understand.

Technology is only as good as people will let it be. I personally aren't searching for fortune as much as i'm searching for enlightenment. Maybe i should run a WiFi hotspot. If you want free internet come hang outside of my house, i'll give you the password for my WiFi
Why won't people just communicate with me. All i ask is be kept in the loop when it comes to umpiring. And still after 5 years of provicals no one talks to me,no one tells me where i should go until the very last minute. Yesterday i was going to Millet, now i'm going to a smaller town further away called Round Hill. I've never been there. I don't know anything about this town, or where the ball diamonds are or what. But i'm going there, and i have to work with a guy i've never met before. Something tells me this is just a disaster waiting to happen. I'm not even sure that i would have found this out if i weren't for Siobhan telling me that the millet team wasn't playing in millet this weekend. I guess having friends has its benifits sometimes...
Sometimes i wonder if i should take up smoking. I mean apart from the totally horrid things it would do to me. And keeping in mind that it is the only substance approved by the FDA that when used properly will kill you. Apart from all that negativity (and the loss of my girlfriend) i'm still thinking about it. I'm pretty sure this isn't one of those rebellous things. I know this because i'm nearly 20 and i can legally buy the smokes now. I just keep thinking about how basically all the poeple i look up to for one reason or another are smokers. Cobain, the Whites (jack notably), Tyler Durden, Coleridge, all the poets that i read. Hell Matt Good smoked (he has resently quit) but i liked his voice better for its sound back in the day. I just keep thinking that i'm missing out on something. Maybe its the certainty of knowing that you have at least one thing that isn't going to change. Perhaps if money wasn't an issue and i had the freedom to do it without being looked down upon i'd start. Something to relax me. Something to do while i type out these blogs on my computer. You're not really living unless you're addicted to something. There is a certain unmistakable feeling of security in addiction. Its always going to be there, can you say that about anything else in your life with that kinda reverence. I figure that we're losing the last of the cool smokers from the world. Everyone has gotten caught up in this anti-smoking idea. At least in North America it's we're alot tighter about smoking than in other parts of the world, most noticablly europe, where everyone and their dog still smokes. I just think that we might be going just alittle to far banning smoking from all public buildings and eateries. I hear that the city of edmonton even wants to ban smoking from bars. This is going too far. I'm going to stand up for the smokers out there and say "back off government" we all know how evil smoking is. For years and years we've been allowing smoking in every public place. Now it is alittle annoying sometimes, but we have lived with it for so long why all of a sudden did we have to just stop it. Second hand smoke is a worry, but so is skin cancer, so is Sars, so is West Nile, are we going to kill all the mosquitoes now too? Because we humans have done enough to destroy the environment. Everyone is too uptight now adays. Relax, let the smokers slowly kill themselves. Sit back and watch the world turn and just try to live your life the best you can. And in the pursuit for living your life in the best way, you don't have to try to live everyone elses.

That just might be the problem of the current world right now. No one is taking the time to fix the problems in their own lives. Instead they get more personal joy out of helping others. Not enough people are being selfish like me. We all need more "me time". Take a minute out of each day when things are getting hectic and solve one, just one of your many problems. Hell even if its as small as re-arranging the lenghts of your shoe laces so that they are both the same lenght at the end of the lacing, do it. Every little bit counts, and the things you do for yourself count twice as much. Even on a global scale no one is looking at themselves anymore. It's like we don't like what we've become so we're going to try to live vicariously through the re-building of another nation. The problem is that everyone wants to get their 2 cents in on the subject and the country becomes this amalgamation of other countries. This ultimately turns out in the country becoming to screwed up than before and it just reverts back to the mess it was in the beginning. For example see the Congo, Somalia... the list is growing.

So i'm going out later today to buy some smokes. At the least of it, they'll sit in my room until i get really drunk one night and smoke the entire pack away. This will give me a reason to use my zippo more than i do as it stands right now. I got a few dollars to spend on little white death sticks, or maybe i'll spend some extra money and run up to the cigar store on whyte ave and get something classy and sit on my step outside my house when the folks are gone and travel to exotic lands where no one cares what you do to your self. hmmm... sounds and smells like cuba doesn't it, good thing i'm canadian.

It's July 4th today, drink a beer and toast it to the USA. Toast it to all the 18 year olds in the US getting drunk in Mexico because their legal age is 21. They aren't old enough to go to the strippers but they can join the army and be killed for the better of whoever...

Go and tell the king the sky is falling in, when its not... 

I listen to this new Radiohead album and i get the distinct feeling that Thom and the boys are really unhappy with the current political situation. Hell they even got their shots in with the title of the album "hail to the theif". I'm suprised that the album didn't be censored by the US or their more powerful friends in Wal-Mart. Then again i get the distinct feeling that people that are going to be buying the new radiohead album aren't going to be buying it from Wal-Mart.

While on the topic of Music i'd like to take a moment and bitch about the radio situation in Edmonton now. Ok if you didn't know Mix 96 is gone, replaced by 96x. Which wouldn't be so bad if they didn't play do goddam much nickelback and michelle branch. I also probably wouldn't care if i didn't have to listen to it every night. Also Power 92 is gone, replaced with "the .5" which is just what mix 96 was. 92.5Fm doesn't play rap, hip hop, or good old fashioned rock anymore. Which makes it the most useless radio station other than the half dozen country ones we have. Country isn't music, its whining with guitars and clean channels on amps. It's redneck and i hate it.

Oh to fill in the holes of my past blogs, Allan (my current savior) brought to my attention that i was explaining a "mandelbrot plot". Link coming soon... very cool, another reason why math will never get old...

If any one wants to take the "fun" out of finding a house for me and Allan and Will for the next school year, feel free to email me.

I'd also like to say for all the people at work (that probably won't ever read this) stop eavesdropping on my conversations. Just being i swear, or talk about all the weird places i've been, or all the things i've done doesn't mean that you can just stand over there somewhere and listen in. The irony of this is that these people probably don't even own computers so really i'm just bashing them behind their backs. Good thing i'm not buddist or i'd be getting all this backstabbing coming back at me...

Thursday, July 03, 2003

I revamped the site today. Added a bio page, so now i can get tons and tons more spam than i regularly do. I hope that at least i get cool spam, i really hate all the spam i get about penis enlargement. Now i don't go around comparing myself to other guys, but according to the wonderful people that spam me everyday my woman is unhappy with my size, or my girth. Kinda makes you wonder what you women out there want. Do you really want us bottoming out inside of you? If i add 6 more inches you might as well have sex with a two litre pop bottle. There would be some serious rearrangement of your insides, i'll leave it at that.

Work starts in 75 mins, but i'm sure the classic flirting between all employees has been going on for a while now. I work at a glorified high school for adults. The only thing is that most of these people are married so when the work place flirting becomes serious homewrecking comes into place. I can't believe how immature some of the people i work with are. Your 45, act like it!!!! I feel like the summer students are the most mature people in that warehouse at night, sadly that leaves me in top 5 or so. Getting back to the topic of work being like high school, we even get graded on our performance at the end of the year. Give me a piece of paper with my stats on it, sounds like a report card. Hell we even had a fire drill already. I think the 13 years i spent in the public school system has given me the piece of mind to leave a building when i hear fire alarms. On the plus side the fire drill took 30 mins or so. Time in which they paid all of us. Quick math: 75 employees, avg salary of $14/HR (thats low), 30min of fire drill wasted time = $525 down the drain. Do two more fire drill, one for day shift, one for afternoon shift (both of which are considerably larger than nights) and you wasted an easy $2500. Now how about you don't have these fire drills and you put that money into a scholarship and you'd have a better way to spend $2500. I'm just a little bitter about my not receiving any scholarships throughout my university time so far. Give me money, i need to be able to feed myself while at school

I'll stop being selfish now... there are thousands of university students in the same position as me, we all need money

The 2 dumbest words uttered by a human: No Regrets 

Dammit does peoples refusal to accept their wrong doings ever annoying to me. I keep thinking about how i always hear people, normally at the end of their lifes talking about how they don't regret anything. They say this as if they didn't say it some apparition would appear and steal away the life they have and return them back back to that moment in their life (that they actually regret) and make them live their life all over again. It's ok to regret doing somethings. Hell i regret doing alot of things and i'm not quite 20 yet. Just think of all the things i'm going to regret in 20 years when i'm 40. Stop denying the "oh so natural" feeling of not liking what you have. If we all just bend over and accept where we are and what we have become we screw ourselves out of a better life in the future. Luck falls from the sky, but perhaps unlike you i'm not lucky so i'm going out there to change the future before it happens. Prove to yourself that your life isn't pre-deterined. Turn off the highway at a different spot than you usually do. All this might just be conviencing yourself that your happy with the blue pill... Or just keep doing what your doing now, and in 50 years when some "Friends" of yours are doing your roast you can stand up at the end of it and utter the two dumbest words that can be said by a human; no regrets. And i'll fly my spirit away and not steal all your lifes accompishments.

Today is payday, so i guess i'll repress the sudden feeling to strip naked and roll around in the wads and wads of money i've earned in the past two weeks. You just wait, that'll happen, and it'll be on cable tv on some reality show...

Do you read the newspaper? I do, and everyday i realize more and more that the newspaper has been written in a manor that a student in grade 3 could probably understand whats going on. We need a newspaper for people that have university educations and such. Well at least thats how i see the world becoming a better place. That and getting rid of all those punk kids... damn middle class gangsters.
When I grow up, I want to be one of those people that goes around to third world nations and helps starving children, i want to be a mercenary

There is a thin line between stupidity and ignorance. That statement could be taken either way i guess...

I think that i have everything in its right place so far. I have to remember that all code changes i want on this page have to be done through blogger. Once i wrap my mind around that idea, i shall be in website nirvana.

I wanna go see 28 days later this weekend, maybe friday night, after 9. I'm just hoping that someone that lives within driving distance of me reads this. Well, if i go, it'll probably be on friday or saturday. But saturday i have this "party" to go to. With the knowledge that Siobhan is going to Innisvail(sp) and she might also have other plans for that night, and Keely wants to have a date with her boyfriend, that leaves me going to this party without a chaperone. House partys are one time in my life when i need to use the buddy system.

Looks like i'm going to millet like i suspected yesterday, which means on the plus side i'll get to sleep in my own bed during the weekend. On the downside, i don't have any excuse not to go to this party.

Perhaps i'll sit at home at night this weekend sitting in front of my computer ready to be "sex therapist" to all the peoples on my msn list. Which i take as a huge complement. There's nothing my limitless knowledge of relationships can't be used to help others have better lives. Even if i means being honest...

I'm going to bed, it feels like midnight, its actually 8am, my body is so screwed up right now, and even worse this weekend i'll switch back to normal time for two days and then try to go back to work on sunday night. So don't call me today, the first person who calls me this morning is getting a sars laced letter in the mail, i can do, i'm canadian

Oh by the way Vancouver won the olympics for 2010, and if you first found that out by reading this, you need help, there must be rehab for internet addicts, you need to get out more

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

I'm looking for images of a math equation. I don't know what it's called but it creates this really really cool image. It has these parts of it called "shepherds crook" where every time you zoom in on the crook the image becomes more and more complex. I remember one of my teachers in high school, possibly Mr. Way talking about this. Anyways i can't seem to find it, being that i don't know the equation or the scientific name for it, searching it on the internet seems to me like a failing process. The front of the strokes album Is This It reminds me of it.

Anyway gonna be late for work, damn blogger, running my life now

Woo Hoo! we are live... 

All seems well in the land of Joel. My site is up and running and boy am i ever grateful to allan for all this. Apart from spending my day filling my computer with open source code software i basically said "fuck it" to tripods lame attempt at a website and just wrote my own up.

I'm sure being ambitous with this internet/website shit. But we can't forget Matt Good's opinion "Ambition is a tricky thing, it’s like riding a unicycle on a dental floss tightrope over a wilderness of razor blades. Or perhaps I just listen to way too much Matt Good nowadays. Either way it makes a nice entering sentence for any conversation.

I'd like to take a minute and include a statement i forgot this morning when i was so tired. Ok we (we being Mike, Siobhan, Carrie, Sarah, Christy) were all sitting at the table during lunch and Mike was talking about living with Carrie need year, because they have desided to become roomates. And this was Mikes comment about the situation of living with Carrie
"As long as you don't get drunk and piss on my carpet (like my last roomate), we should be fine". Think you live with crazy people? Do they forget to use the bathroom when they get drunk? I'd also like to take a moment right now to thank Don for never pissing on the floor in lister... but the time you, al and will all sat outside my door on feb14th... you're lucky i wasn't armed...

All this spending time on my computer is making my head spin. There should be some way for me to be able to place the things i want on my website in the places i want. I haven't figured that out just yet. But when i do, oh you better believe that i'm going living the high life.

I have to go get some coffee. I'm falling asleep at the switch here and i still have work tonight. Maybe at work tonight i can continue to watch the story of two star crossed lovers and how their paths cross, intertwine and such... more on that to come later.

I think we need to start re-testing all the drivers on the road. I've been driving for a couple of months in summer since coming home and i've noticed two types of drivers so far. We got the ones that want to kill you (me included) and the ones that don't realize there are other cars on the road. Why can't you people just all drive like me. All i want to do is drive the speed limit, and some assbackwards hic driving 30 in a 50 zone does nothing but make me want to run your dumb ass off the road. In other traffic related news my friend Johan got a $250 speeding ticket last week. Turns out your not allowed to go 135km/h down highway 2A. He was slowing down when the cop clocked him too. Was it worth it? He was driving to meet his girlfriend. Oh the things we stupid males will do for you girls.

My sunburn from last weekend is starting to fade. Just in time for me to get another one on Saturday. Turns out i'm going to Millet to umpire the teams that have already lodged a complaint over me this year. Sounds like the best battle since a death star blew up is in the making. Run for cover, this storm trooper has learnt how to fire his gun...

peace, love, empathy - the best way to end a suicide note ever...
I just woke up to find out that my Dad ran to Edmonton today and desided to spend more money on his little pda. I remember when he got it a few weeks ago he said that the 32Mb ram that came base in the machine would be more than enough. More than he could ever imagine using up. Today he bought an extra 256Mb for backup storage (for the amazing price of $100). I think he also downloaded the entire bible into that flash card. See therein lays the different between me (my generation) and my Dad (and his generation). My dad happily paid $25us for the bible in e-form, while i would have just gone out and found it for free. I mean i paid for my computer, but if you think i'm going to pay for every little thing that i already own in some other form (hard copy) you better sit down and get used to being disappointed.

I'm trying to learn html, and the baby steps i'm taking are thanks to a book i stole from my dad this morning while he slept. I'm building two webpages at the moment and which ever one works out the best will be used hopefully and ultimately to host this blog. I'm building one with the help of the hosts (build me a carbon copy webpage builder) and the other i'm building by me typing code for what seems hours and hours. I have new found respect for computer nerds as of today. Not enough new respect for me to go out and talk to them, but enough respect i might not look at them like they are diseased...

Mike needs me to bring him the new foo fighters cd at work today. And i better not forget like last night. Or he might just kick my ass and not drive me to the show in a couple of weeks.

I'm off to find enlightenment in the form <> and if that mad any sense to you, then you know my struggle...
Everyday I get off work, walk outside and think to myself; “why the hell did I leave my sunglasses in the fucking car” What were you thinking at 7am this morning? Bet it wasn’t that…

Warehouse jobs are way too over rated. I work from 10:30pm to 7am Sunday night to Friday morning. Now if I was making the 12/hr that the full times make I might not complain as much as I do now. I make a full $3 less than they do every hour, just because I’m a student. It’s home hardware’s way of showing me how much they really just don’t care. Did you know that the warehouse I work in is the only warehouse for HH in western Canada? And all I have to say is that we got 600,000 sq.ft of absolutely useless shit. Stuff I don’t think any person could ever use. And something’s that just don’t make sense.
We got an outdoor ceiling fan. Take a minute and think about that. Its water proof, but if it’s for outside where are you going to attach it to. And if there is a ceiling to attach it to, are you really outside anymore? These are the questions that run through my head at 4:30 in the morning while my mind numbing job crawls along. I’m just waiting for the day that I forget to look before crossing an aisle and I get hit by some 10 ton machine going backwards that drags me for a good 20 ft before realizing that I’m stuck under it. It already happened to someone this year; it could happen to me…

I’m going to bed, my Wednesday is over

Today is the day that Vancouver/Whistler will find out if they win the 2010 winter games. But that just makes me think, when I’m 26 (turning 27) am I really going to be around to attend? Here's a link if you care... 2010 Games

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Goddam fucking lycos and tripod. Ok i'm trying to start up a free website so that i can put this blog on a website of my own and not have to run it off blogspot. Which isn't so bad as i'm finding out. If only i had extensive knowledge of html i'd be already to go. Ok, well i'm not and it's starting to look like i'm either going to have to learn html this summer or wait until the fall when i get back to school and then get all friendly with the comp sci majors for them to build be a wedsite... eeww nerds and geeks. Oh wait i'm blogging and i have a website that doesn't really work. I'm not feeling so cool anymore.

I have to go make myself some lunch. Not that it feels like lunch time at say 3am when i actually get to eat said lunch. Working nights has offically destroyed all sense of time in my life. I'm tired like its bedtime, but i just woke up 4 hours ago. The sun is going down that makes its work time.

ok for all you i'm not posting the site link until i get it atleast easy on the eyes. Right now it's just a cookie cutter piece of shit. Give me some time, a 18 pack of kokanee and we'll see how that site looks in a few weeks

Todays wednesday, or atleast thats what they tell us a work, one more day till pay day!

i wonder how to publish pictures in my blogs... (help me)
Welcome to my think tank!

It's Canada day, not i'm really going to be doing anything important being that i have to go to work in just over 2 hours. Damn night shift and my ability (or better said inability) to sleep during the day. I should be out wreaking havoc on the world like a good proud canadians today. Doing the classic canadian things, drinking beer, and being jackasses, and drinking more beer. Oh wait! that was 2 years ago with the Whyte ave riots. Nothing says "i love my country" like getting drunk and destroying a small part of it! But isn't that the classic canadian way though? Everything we do seems to be alcohol fuelled. Not that i find anything wrong with that. If you know me, you know that i've been known to say "get drunk and do really really stupid things too". Meh, oh well, just as long as we're being patriotic while we wreck stuff.

Really i just wanted to be part of the revolution. Yeah yeah i'm jumping on the band wagon, but really what are any of you giong to do about it? Gonna come and beat me up? Well you probably could but thats a different story.

Anyways i'll keep updating this as much as i can, learning and feeling my way through this new medium.